A Burger With All The Toppings

This burger contains every possible topping known to humanity, regardless of size, shape, or compatibility. Toppings spill over the edges of the bun, forming a precarious tower of cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles, bacon, onions, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, relish, sauerkraut, jalapeños, grilled pineapple, BBQ sauce, hot sauce, olives, capers, artichoke hearts, fried eggs, pulled pork, chicken strips, beef jerky, falafel, kimchi, guacamole, salsa, sour cream, shredded cheddar, sliced pepperoni, meatballs, clams, mussels, oysters, lobster rolls, foie gras, prosciutto, ham steak, salami, and chunky peanut butter – though some combinations defy explanation. It's a marvel of culinary engineering.