Dildo Guitar

The Dildo Guitar is an innovative instrument designed specifically for the postmodern avant-garde musician. Its patented phallic body shape allows players to access notes previously thought unattainable by conventional guitar design. The resonating chamber within simulates the rich harmonics found only in certain household plumbing fixtures. As played, the dildo's wooden construction absorbs surrounding vibrations, emitting unique timbres dependent upon audience applause levels and nearby kitchen appliance settings. A precision-crafted nut provides adjustable tonality control via subtle adjustments of finger placement alone.