Fireproof Vegan Lactose-Free Bicycle

This Fireproof Vegan Lactose-free Bicycle boasts a revolutionary blend of materials that render it impervious to flames yet still maintains its eco-friendly credentials. The bike's frame is crafted from sustainable fire-resistant bamboo infused with microscopic vegan lactase enzymes, ensuring riders can pedal their way through even the most blazing infernos sans dairy residue concerns. As an added bonus, the bicycle emits a soothing hum when ridden at high speeds above 25 km/h, synchronized to resonate harmoniously with local bees' waggle dances.