Future In The Past

Future In The Past is a retro-futuristic toaster designed to accept temporal inputs instead of bread slices. By simply inserting yesterday's newspaper clippings into the slot, users can receive toast bearing tomorrow morning's headlines today. Not only does it guarantee timely breakfast news, but the toaster itself becomes sentient after six consecutive uses, displaying witty observations on current events through a built-in LED screen. As it warms up to its owners' preferences, Future In The Past begins revealing cryptic messages hidden within toasted patterns – forecasts of global catastrophes or unfulfilled prophecies, depending on how closely one listens.