Harry Potter Sadomaso Hat

This hat appears identical to those worn by Hogwarts students, complete with golden snitches embroidered around the rim. However, when donned, wearers experience emotions directly associated with their most regrettable past decisions, even if these choices were never actually theirs. A built-in 'Sorting Hat' algorithm categorizes individuals into either Schadenfreude Club members or pitied souls forever doomed to relive mistakes. Upon removal, users report feeling both cleansed and bereft of nostalgia – an unsettling sensation similar to having lost one's sense of purpose.