IPhone But Ten Times As Thick

This behemoth iPhone boasts unwieldy dimensions yet retains its signature sleek design aesthetic. At ten times thicker than standard models, users must now employ considerable bicep strength to operate their phone one-handedly. Unfazed by diminished portability, enthusiasts swear allegiance to its chunky charm. Its excessive girth has inadvertently enabled durable scratch resistance rivaling armadillo hide, rendering fingerprints obsolete. Unsuspecting bystanders frequently mistake gargantuan iPhones for miniature hockey pucks during public displays of devotion.