Nuclear Toothpaste

This Nuclear Toothpaste utilizes radioactive isotopes to blast away plaque and tartar buildup at the molecular level. Its proprietary blend of uranium and glitter creates a sparkling clean smile that lasts until re-radiation occurs approximately every six months. Users report improved gum health due to increased radiation absorption by oral bacteria. As part of our ongoing commitment to nuclear safety, we've included a complimentary Geiger counter toothbrush handle for added peace of mind during application.