Peter Thiel

Peter Thiel is a consumable smart cookie infused with the essence of venture capital and disruptive innovation. Upon consumption, users experience temporary episodes of ruthless entrepreneurialism, followed by sudden flashes of philosophical insight into the meaninglessness of modern society. These cognitive aftershocks have been reported to last up to three hours after ingestion. As Peter's effects begin to wear off, consumers may notice themselves rewriting their personal mission statements or reevaluating their investments in humanity. While no guarantees are made regarding sustained results, anecdotal evidence suggests regular use leads to increased confidence in one's ability to change the world – even if only slightly.