Prehistoric Soap

This Prehistoric Soap features extracts of rare, fossilized plant oils combined with microscopic particles of quartz crystal. The result is a lathering experience unlike anything else – it cleans your skin while subtly rearranging the molecular structure to evoke primal instincts of rugged self-reliance. As users scrub away dirt and grime, their mental faculties may shift towards wilderness survival skills, minor anxiety reduction, and temporary yet convincing convictions regarding one's ability to wrestle mammoths.