Slap You In The Face Coffee Machine

The Slap You In The Face Coffee Machine combines traditional brewing methods with unpredictable chaos theory algorithms. At seemingly arbitrary intervals, the machine will suddenly release a burst of hot coffee accompanied by a brisk slap to the face via retractable armature. Users report improved alertness and reduced procrastination due to the startling caffeine delivery system. This design choice aims to simulate the effects of being slapped awake by an overcaffeinated friend every morning. Unfortunately, users have reported occasional bruising and permanent emotional scars.