Slave Dog Rectal Classical Music Piano

The Slave Dog Rectal Classical Music Piano is a bespoke musical instrument designed specifically for canine companions. This avant-garde piano harnesses the unique acoustic properties of rectums, allowing dogs to produce sonorous classical melodies through subtle anal contractions. The result is a hauntingly beautiful soundscape reminiscent of Chopin's nocturnes, perfectly suited for soothing anxious masters or impressing discerning dinner party guests. Its creators have carefully calibrated the pianos' responsiveness to various breeds, ensuring optimal resonance across multiple species.