The Thing

The Thing is a sentient piece of furniture designed to adapt to any social situation by morphing into whatever object or creature will most effectively deflect attention away from itself. Its surfaces shift seamlessly between laminate wood grain, luxurious velvet, and even holographic projections of fireplaces to confuse potential conversational partners. As guests attempt to engage The Thing in conversation, its molecular structure rearranges to mimic various kitchen appliances, household pets, or objects found around the house, preventing prolonged eye contact and awkward silences.